Why buy a whole pig, when all you want is a bit of sausage?!

a_smiling_cupid_pig_with_his_bow_and_arrow_of_love_and_hearts_0521-1001-2812-5856_SMUI have to admit that I let out a slight groan when I saw this weeks WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge – Funny Valentine! As if it’s not enough to have commercial marketing gurus push forced romance upon us from every angle – now I have to write about the dreaded Valentines day too!!!! I did the necessary huffing and puffing, got over myself, and then decided that maybe this challenge wouldn’t be so bad after all. Just don’t expect it to be all ‘chocolate and roses’! 🙂

First off, I need to acknowledge and thank Shirley Maya Tan (and her super cool Grandma!) for coming up with such a great quote (aka the title of my post) – I hope you don’t mind me borrowing it?! I couldn’t resist! 🙂 What a great moral code to live your romantic life by! 😉 So, when I went chasing for a ‘bit of sausage’ about 13 years or so ago … what happened? …. did I end up with the ‘whole pig’?

Well, the OH isn’t great with Valentines day, or romance full stop when I come to think about it! The chances of him remembering (or even bothering) with Valentines day are slim to say the least. In fact I think there might be better odds of me winning the lottery than getting a present tomorrow! 🙂 Although I might have a ‘half-hearted whinge’ about it, I’m not sure I’m great with overtly romantic gestures either – they make me feel ‘uncomfortable’! There wasn’t a huge amount of romance in my bones to start with, but after 13 years with my severely romantically challenged partner, the last few dregs have been well and truly squeezed out of me! 😉

If I think back to my younger years, I can clearly pin-point where my distaste for Valentines day comes from. From a young age, when all my friends were receiving stacks of cards from secret admirers, my letter-box was always inevitably empty! I used to dread the annual ritual of comparing ‘numbers’ with friends at school, as mine was always depressingly a big zero! My justification – none of my admirers know where I live! After all, I did go to an all girls secondary school – so post really was the only option of cards reaching me! 😉 My dad, bless him, without fail would bring balloons, flowers and giant cards home for me throughout my formative years. But lets face it girls, it’s hardly a patch on the excitement of a ‘proper admirer’!

It’s not like I’m undateable. From the age of 16, it would be fairly safe to describe me as a ‘serial monogamist’. Being 34 now, that means I have spent over half my life in a ‘serious relationship’ of one sort or another. For the first few years of ‘young love’ my valentines drought dried up; being satiated with the annual tradition of flowers, dinners and cards. But behind my big smiles, kisses and thank-yous, deep down it always felt like a bit too much effort! What overpriced restaurant shall we book into this year? How much should I spend on a present without looking tight (so closely after Xmas too!)? All in a contrived attempt to show ‘our love’ to each other, when in reality we were just feeding the coffers of valentines commercialism.

Valentines pigs together!
Valentines pigs together!

No, honest, it’s not bitterness speaking! I just prefer to show love and romance (in whatever form that comes in) at more ‘natural’ times; rather than it being part of a pre-defined agenda. 13 years together, a beautiful (and cheeky!) son, a life of joint experiences and a commitment to working through our ‘ups and downs’ – what greater show of love could I need? He might drive me mad (as I probably do him!), but we don’t seem to be able to live without each other. And, although our personalities are different in many ways, what we do share is a similar outlook on life and morals – which brings us together as ‘soul mates’ (my non-romantic side is cringing as I type this!). So, although I might moan about the OH’s lack of enthusiasm for Valentines day ….. Shhhhh …. don’t tell him …… but secretly, I can’t be ‘bothered’ with it either! 🙂

We can be two ‘Valentines pigs’ happily (and unromantically!) growing old together.

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